Take it Easy

we tell ourselves to stay calm,
to take it easy
to take a deep breath.
we tell ourselves to
pay the bills and there’s nothing to stress.
we tell ourselves to
get some food, and
lick the last crumbs off our plates.

we tell ourselves to be critical,
to pay little and believe less.

be calm, take it easy, take a deep breath.

yet the more critical my payoff
at the end of the month gets
the more increases the pace
of my deep breaths and
I spit out the calm
cough from exhaustion.

be calm, take it easy, take a deep breath.

Going home to a cage with a bed
and a cable leading to the mess beyond
my head,

surrounded with a face in the mirror
stared at by a face on an inforamtion flooded,
racing, white slate

be calm, take it easy, take a deep breath.

In the back of my brain
scarred people tell me
don’t try…
All you need to know
is written in the books
is written on the gravestones,
write everything
outside yourself off,

drown and drink and smoke and shrink
the little that is left
to death

but then I thought
scarred people see it all
yet know less.

be calm, take it easy, take a deep breath

And I take a deep breath
but my lungs ache
I stay calm yet outside my door
the earth trembles, I take it easy
but there’s a heavy tangled mess
bending my back

yes, that’s what it is
telling myself all that crap
and I see it all but know so much less
than any other day
I might get across.

I eat it all up
this calm, easy, steadily breathing
mess.

And continue to fiddle with
the blade stuck in my breast
I give way to the foul air in my chest
and touch the oily load
that is colouring all that is left

with a shade beyond words
an idea too contradicting
to concider
because

all is well
all is easy
all is calm
just don’t try
and
take a deep breath.

Cologne, December 2011

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Gemüsegedicht


Schlächter kann’s nur werden
ehre ich den frischen, grünen
Lebensquell mit jeder Kiefer-
kontraktion befeuchte ich alles

Sabbernd durch die Straßen ziehend
Reiswaffeln zerknautschend
Passanten voll anraufen.
Richtig anmachen,
in Sojasoße einlegen. Man speist
nun unabhängiger denn je zuvor
hat genug Mut zum
massenhaft Möhren zersäbeln,
erst pellen die Strünke entfernen.

Man kann noch mehr essen
noch länger leben
noch mehr Mensch sein
und gleichzeitig
und gleichzeitig
und gleichzeitig
zeitiger denn je zuvor an den
Streichelzoo spenden im Gelände-
wagen in Einkaufsstraßen wenden,
Samstags.

Der nächste Salat wartet
alle Tiere sind schon tot, bevor sie
wahrscheinlich nicht das Licht
der Erdoberfläche mit eigenen
Tieraugen aufnehmen dürften und
somit guten Appetit und mit extra viel
Fleischstückchensoße auffüllen bitte!

Cologne, August 2011

Thin Walls

Dedicated to Marthe

Surrounded with thin walls
literally as figuratively
the getting closer to one another
is forced upon the inhabitants
avoiding your eyes,
avoiding your self
or the other
becomes an almost impossible task

loud music, slammed doors
are no long-lasting remedies
for all the pains that come with it
that come with dialogue
that come with muted sentiments
for all the pleasure
and all the affection
that comes with those very thin walls

knocking, shouting, coughing
no one can be as close as this
you might even hear a loud fart
set the clock, turn up the volume
plug up your ears
or let it all in
and smile
while falling asleep

Utrecht, Summer 2010

Im Stuhl drehen

Ausverkauf!
Funktionierende Geisteszustände sind für heute
nicht mehr erhältlich
versuchen sie es vielleicht morgen
noch einmal
denn
einen Versuch ist es immer wert

Heute Abend kann man sich nurnoch
still im Stuhl drehen
vor sich hin schauen
den Mäusen beim krabbeln zuhören
den eigenen Hirnübungen
nicht zuviel Aufmerksamkeit
schenken
dann weiter
das Licht knipsen
erst aus
dann ein
dann das Tageslicht verteufeln und
darauf warten es wieder aufs Neue
ausprobieren zu dürfen
nach unzähligen Nächten
schlaflos, schlafträchtig
unausgedrückt schwerwiegend
alltäglich

Utrecht, Spring 2011

One Thing to Rely on


Every day is like a big joke.

switch through channels:
a ludicrous phantom of the real
a ludicrous segment of the real
lift limbs, walk up this or that path
suck in another shadow of the real
a shake of the head,
hair distorting the view
take another step and look up
try to learn how to laugh today.

Every stage every shot every set
of your own life
is like a big joke
frowning noisily instead of laughing,
scaring the animals away
soap dispensers with motion detectors!
the great machinery of the human mind
the great machinery of a big bowl full
with the same old joke. Every day the same
joke. Try and learn to laugh somehow.

Today I made it all disappear but scared
by accident myself away. Not so much
by mishap. It’s a tragedy, a bummer
to scare yourself away like that
day after day.

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